Gatekeepers of Eternal Beauty

A while ago I used the phrase “Gatekeeper of Eternal Beauty” to describe a very dear friend, and it’s become a recurring theme ever since. As Christians, we long for transcendence. We want our lives to count for something infinitely bigger than just the random nothings that the world tells us are so important. But how do we do it, especially when we face so many distractions in our daily lives. I want to offer a suggestion: we need to surround ourselves with Gatekeepers of Eternal Beauty and follow their examples.

In the New Testament, Paul personally taught Timothy how to be a pastor, and then exhorted Timothy to teach others, and for those others to teach others, too. Today, we also need these kinds of Gatekeepers, these friends and mentors who are further down the road of the Christian life than we are. They’ve seen the beauty of God, the Gospel, and eternity better than we have yet, so we spend time with them because we want to think their good thoughts after them, and follow their example. We mimic their hearts and lives so the eternal beauty that’s reflected in their lives gets imprinted onto our lives, too, so that we, too, can increasingly reflect that same beauty to others.

Gatekeepers are not easy to find. They are few and far between, but they are definitely worth the search. If you find a Gatekeeper, befriend him or her as if your life depends on it—because, in one sense, it does. A Gatekeeper watches out for our best interest, often because he or she has already been down the road we’re about to take and knows the dangers we will face. If we want a victorious journey, we must take heed to their exhortations and encouragements.

A Gatekeeper of Eternal Beauty is a student of beauty, a lover of goodness, and a seeker of truth. A Gatekeeper is someone who sees beyond the façade of daily life, and even of a whole lifetime, to eternity, to heaven, to the Gospel, to ultimate reality—the way God sees things. A Gatekeeper is someone who understands that our preoccupation with eternity and the Gospel doesn’t just affect our future status in glory, but our daily life today as well. God has woven His story and His beauty into our daily lives, right here and now. Gatekeepers love life, not because their lives are perfect, but because their hearts know the One who put all the beauty into life, and they are blissfully overwhelmed by Him and by what He does in their lives.

A Gatekeeper is not only a pursuer of beauty, goodness, and truth, but is also a guardian, a sentry who makes sure that we do not lose touch with those issues which matter most. In a metaphorical, shepherding sense, they help us know which gates to enter and depart from, and they send us in the right direction.

Becoming a Gatekeeper happens to those whose worldviews are entrenched and wrapped up in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This world is utterly dark until we understand and receive the forgiveness of God through Christ, who died in our place, as our Substitute on the Cross. That truth, the Gospel, is the cornerstone of all beauty in our lives. Sadly, few of us plumb its depths and its massive implications for the beauty that our lives can enjoy. Why? Because we do not understand how to take the truths we hear and read and reach to the depths of our worldview.

Reprogramming our worldview is not as easy as we may think. Changing our worldview is not about taking a class or reading a book. We can change our beliefs fairly easily, but not our worldviews. They are deeply hidden inside us, and though they get easily programmed when we are children, they get harder and harder to change as we grow up. In fact, it’s difficult to even identify them. A worldview is not what you think about; it’s simply what you think.

Very often our beliefs and our worldviews are polar opposites, even though we don’t necessarily realize it. For example, we can truly believe that life is beautiful, but have worldviews that “know” on a deeper level that life is sad and disappointing. Or we can truly believe that our bodies are good, because God made them, but on a worldview level we may hate our bodies. We can adhere to something in principle, but not really “buy it” internally. And in the contest of belief versus worldview, worldview always wins.

Gatekeepers are people who have deliberately asked God to push eternity into the depths of their thinking and to reprogram their worldview. In Romans 12, after Paul plumbed the depths of the Gospel, the very first way he applies that great theology is by exhorting us to offer ourselves as living sacrifices to God and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. God wants our minds—our worldviews—renewed.

God takes such willing servants and grants them the desires of their hearts, which He Himself planted there. He shapes them into seasoned warriors, passionate poets, more prepared than ever to minister grace to those around them. He makes them better able to cry out to God in prayer than ever before. He gives them eyes to see the angels coming down from the mountain that no one else can see. He helps them see that He really does bring beauty from ashes.

As God transforms our worldviews, He puts into us a greater capacity for joy, and a deep gratitude for the good things in life that He grants us. But whether every dream of ours comes true or not, we find ourselves realizing more and more that life’s beauty does not come from God becoming our personal Genie Who grants all our wishes. We find that beauty is already all around us. Our eyes lose the scales that were over them, and we find our hearts welling up to the point of overflowing. We find ourselves smiling at everyone we meet, not because our lives are perfect, but because no matter what storm we may face, we have the settled conviction that God knows everything that is happening in our lives and has a plan for our good and His glory.

A heart set on fire with that worldview cannot help but want to cherish life and soak in the beauty all around us. The Gospel takes us to the point where we want to give and give and give, to be “wasted for Christ.” A heart set on fire for God knows how much it’s been chosen, forgiven, loved, wooed, cherished, and protected. Gatekeepers put all of life’s circumstances through that paradigm—that filter, that grid. As with all of life, any particular situation isn't just about that situation; it's about something much bigger. It’s about the Gospel and about ultimate reality, about how the circumstances of our lives reflect or explain God's character, His salvation plan, and heaven. There is a always massive theme going on behind the scenes, and though we can't see it yet, it's there.

If your heart is focused on God’s beauty, you will find that you will naturally surround yourself with Gatekeepers because those cherished moments in their company are what make life seem healthy, whole, and beautiful. You’ll find yourself asking them what they are reading, what they’ve been thinking about, what songs they’ve been singing, and what kind of art they’ve been enjoying or creating. You’ll find that you have conversations that you look back on with amazement. The cheap stuff of life—the gossip, the celebrities, the tv shows, the pursuit of more and more “stuff”—will show its true colors, and will sicken you. You won’t reject the cheap side of life because a preacher told you to, or because you read about it in a book; you will reject it because you really want to, and you will replace it with the true beauty—God’s beauty. Changing our worldviews is not about setting up a list of dos and don’ts; it’s about truly wanting to pursue God, from the heart.

Some of us might feel discouraged by these concepts because though we want that kind of life, we feel like it’s out of reach. If you don’t feel like much of a Gatekeeper, like you really want to be but can’t imagine how you’ll ever get there, take heart. Chances are you’re already on the path and don’t realize it. The key is not our perfection, but our direction. We don’t need to focus on where we think we should be or could be by now. We need to ask ourselves what makes our heart soar and what makes us feel like we are home. We need to ask ourselves what are the deepest desires of our hearts. If what you want most in life is to tell others about what God has done for them in Christ, and to glorify God with your life, and enjoy and share the beauty He’s given us in Himself and in His creation, then you are already well on the way to being a Gatekeeper. You’re already marching to the beat of a different drum than the world; keep marching. May we not grow weary.

Divine Laughter

Do you ever think about God’s laughter and sense of humor? Divine humor is fun, colorful, occasionally harsh, always deserved, and not emulated by us nearly enough. If we want to be like Him, we might want to look at what puts a smile on His face and what makes Him laugh.

I imagine that God frequently laughs because of how much fun He has creating things. We all know the joy of little children with play-dough, and the fun things they create. Imagine how much fun God had at creation, and how much fun He still has sustaining His creation. No doubt He chuckled as He made the platypus and the giraffe, or when He decided to make elephants and first watched them trying to mate. He is the Master Artist, brilliant and creative to the extreme, yet mixed a sense of humor and a love of fun that we haven't even begun to understand. I am sure God laughs often, and has been doing so for all eternity. God isn’t a killjoy; He’s the author of joy.

The Bible teaches that God delights to give His children good things. We know how much a loving human father delights in the joy His children receive when opening up a gift, how he laughs and smiles at their innocent pleasure and fulfillment. He jokes with them, plays with them, gives them gifts, and delights to give them a safe, loving environment in which to enjoy themselves.

How much more does God do that? I can only imagine the laughter and smiles God enjoys when a person realizes his or her need for the Cross. Or when His children realize the joy of giving up their rights and dreams for the sake of ministering to others. Or when someone counts the cost of witnessing, and gets to see the faith spread to an unexpected proportion. Or when an engaged couple who are living for Him get to finally enjoy their wedding day and wedding night. Or when a baby is born, and the wonder and splendor of life takes that couple to new heights of love and joy. God delights to surprise His children good gifts, and no doubt He laughs when He sees how beautifully overwhelmed we are at His blessings.

In Genesis, God made Abraham wait until he and his wife were in their retirement years to make their bodies fertile. Abraham and Sarah didn’t deserve it, nor did they even believe it at first when God promised it to them. But when the baby was born, they knew God had been gracious to them, and they were filled with so much joy that they named their son “Laughter”.

Do we laugh enough? Do we let our sense of joy take over our hearts and faces often enough? Proverbs 31 says that it is a virtue to smile at the future. Are we willing to admit we're a little too concerned about the details of life’s myriad situations, both past, present, and future? We ultimately have no control over the path God gives us, yet God has said that He will make everything turn out for good because we love Him. Are we willing to take the adventure that He has for us, not with fretfulness or apprehension, but with courage, joy, and laughter?

You can tell by the time someone is an adult whether they have this mentality. Their smile is imprinted into their face muscles. They are positive and optimistic people, not because everything around them is going right, but because they know that God will do what is right and that He loves them very much.

God surely laughs often simply because of the joy of giving. That is a joy He wants us to share. He says in 2 Corinthians that He wants us to be extremely joyful givers, sharing what we have with those around us out of the overflow of our hearts. How could we not be joyful to give to His work when we see the big picture? I mean, really, think about it:

• We didn’t even deserve to be a part of God’s plan, to be declared righteous and made worthy. We were given grace upon grace upon grace, even when we didn’t know how desperately we needed it.
• The small sacrifices we make in life are nothing compared to the sacrifice God made for us at the Cross, and yet God chooses to praise us for our sacrifices and to say “Well done” when we’re just doing what servants should do anyway.
• Think of the investment return! What investment on this planet is going to give a one billion percent return or more? Yet the smallest things we do in life for God’s glory, like giving a cup of cold water to someone in need, reap benefits for all eternity.
• We’re not only reaping benefits for eternity, we’re reaping them now, because we know and believe that even our meager offerings—our two pennies or our few loaves and fishes—can be multiplied exponentially by God, right here and now. God does immensely beyond what we could ask or imagine.
• Whether we would see benefits here or in eternity or not, we know that the reason we’re giving at all is because we’ve been set free! We know the power and penalty of sin and the lies it told us when we were slaves to it, and the darkness of the prisons it put us in. And now we’re dancing in the light! We had broken lives, and He made us new. We were once beggars, but now we are free, and showing other beggars where to find the bread. If that is not enough to put joy in your heart and in your voice, nothing is!
  

God’s sense of humor also extends to darker humor as well. God’s Word is full of examples where God uses irony and even harsh sarcasm to make a point. He does not hesitate to make fun of the fools who set themselves up as His enemies. It’s clear that irony will be a major motif of final judgment as God proves that He meant what He said. He not only says that we’ll “reap what we sow,” but that He will “pay us back double”. It will be ironic to no end to see those who were first become last and last become first, and those who thought they got away with their sin find that they have another think coming.

God thinks those who mock Him are so foolish that they deserve not just judgment, but sarcasm. Psalm 2 says that He laughs at them; He’s “amused at their presumption” and scoffs at them. He connects people’s sins in life with their judgment in eternity and shakes His head in wonder, saying, “Why are you so intent on dying? Are you really that foolish? Are you really that bull-headed that you will jump right off the cliff despite my warnings? Do you not see the irony of how much you act like you love yourself, yet you are actually, in view of eternity, proving that you hate yourself and a glutton for punishment?”

The Scriptures are full of sarcasm, from God’s speech to Job, to God’s mockery of the false gods of Egypt (through the plagues aimed directly at the power of those false gods), to the prophets’ speeches to the nation of Israel, to Christ’s sharp answers to religious hypocrites, to Paul’s blatant name-calling, to the ironies in the final judgment of Revelation.

We will be blown away in eternity at not just what happens there, but at the contrasts between:

• What people did in life versus what they could have chosen
• The obviousness that we can’t get away with sin to the silliness of how much we tried to
• How much the afflicted will be comforted in eternity versus how much the afflicters will be discomforted

God turns human reality on its head in the face of divine, ultimate reality, and the contrast is not just striking; it’s downright hilarious. It’s not that God takes any delight in the death of the wicked. God isn’t laughing with glee; He’s laughing at the foolishness. He cried over them for thousands of years, begging them to turn from their sin, and now, as they shake their fists at Him, He is done crying over them; He gives them what they asked for, and laughs at their hard hearts and bizarre choices. If you are inclined to be so sweet that you can't appreciate God's sense of sarcasm, you've misunderstood God. Let's not try to be more holy or loving than God; His holiness and love don't preclude sarcasm and an appreciation of the ironies of time and eternity.

When you add it all up, it’s clear that for many reasons, God laughs. Some reasons are glad, and some are sad. But it is ultimate reality: the divine sense of joy and the divine sense of humor has ample room for laughter of all kinds. If you can’t smile at the beauty of life, if you can’t laugh at life and even at yourself sometimes, if you can’t chuckle at the ironies of life and eternity, and if you can’t occasionally enjoy the same kind of sarcasm God does, then you’re missing out on some of the most obvious, colorful, and fun aspects of who God is. So make some jokes. Don’t be afraid of using a little sarcasm (God isn’t afraid to)! Laugh a little! Laugh a lot! God does, and so should we.

We are all called

Recently I’ve been thinking about the desperate needs around us, both locally and around the world. I recently heard a Christian talking about how he thought some people are called to the hard ministries, like ministering to those dying of starvation or those without the Bible in their language, and others are not called to that. He also admitted that he liked his comforts too much to even consider going. What he verbalized, I see lived out in the majority of Christians that I observe. Our greatest concerns appear to be what coffee shop our Bible study should meet at next and what Christian concert is coming to town next.

Many of us have recently seen a video online which reminded us of some facts which should spur us to think differently:

• There are 13 million orphans around the world.
• 30,000 starve to death every day.
• In the last hour, 1,625 children were forced to live on the streets. 1,667 children died from malnutrition or diseases. 115 children became prostitutes. 257 children were orphaned because of AIDS.
• Half the world’s population live on less than $2 each day.
• There are approximately 100,000 missionaries working in the world today. About 3% work among the unreached.

And what of getting the Bible and the Gospel message to the world? While we have hundreds of translations and versions in English, 2,393 language groups, comprised of 200 million people, have no Bible in their own language.

At what point do these facts become meaningful enough to us to make us go? Would those people in far-off places mean more to us if we were blood relations? If they lived across the street? Is it “out of sight, out of mind”? Because we don’t have to see their hollow hearts and dying bodies every day, we ignore them?

Would it make a difference if our positions were reversed? If we were the orphans, starving, dying of terrible diseases, and we had a chance to beg someone to come help us? If you were the poor, imprisoned, dying person in a far-off place, without hope, what would you say to someone in our culture, whose main goal is to live a “standard Christian life” in a clean-cut, comfortable, safe environment for the rest of his life? How would you get such a person to have enough compassion on you to believe he can make a difference, and to take steps to do so? How important would your rescue be to you if you were the one dying on the street, orphaned by disease or war, and with many questions about eternity but no answers at all in your language?

Our lives are not ours. We belong to Jesus Christ. We do not call the shots. Our all-consuming passion and mission is to be useful to the Master. He has the resources: what He needs are people who are willing to give up anything to heed the call He gives to all His followers.

Who will go for me? Whom can I send? Here I am, Lord; send me!

The call to follow Christ is a call to give up anything God asks us to—everything, if necessary—for the sake of ministering grace to others and sharing with them the Good News of the cross.

There is no second choice. There are not Christians who are called to serious ministry and those who are not. We are all called to find the darkness around us and shine the light of Christ. We start in our own homes, and go across the street, across the country, and across the world. No matter where we are, we have one uniting cause: people all around us are lost and dying without Christ, and we alone have the message of salvation.

While we are going about our lives, the most pressing needs deserve our greatest attention. A massive wound gets much more attention than a hangnail. Our missing a few meals here or there is not on the same level as the starvation killing thousands each day. And our comfort is not worthy to be compared to the suffering happening on our city streets and all around the world.

When and how did we become so callous that others’ desperate needs became so secondary to our comforts, so disconnected from our purpose in life? At what point did having a quiet, peaceable life, which God asks us to pray for, become equated with living in suburbia and focusing on which coffee shop to visit or which movie to see next?

God has not called us to mediocrity, self-centeredness, or complacency. He has called us to radical obedience and total commitment to reach out in love to the world. Discipleship means following Christ, and it has a cost which must be counted—but which is infinitely worth it.

Proverbs 24:11 says, “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.” If it were you or I being led away to slaughter, we would be horrified to think that there were Christians in other countries who were praying for us on Sundays but whose primary thought all week long was about funding their retirement funds so they could take lots of vacations and keeping up on the latest sports scores. We would sit in wonder at the audacity of the contrast. We are a people who care enough to talk about it, yet feel no compulsion to go, as if it’s someone else’s problem and someone else’s call.

If parents were staring out their home’s front window, and saw their daughter being attacked, would they do something to stop it? Of course. What if they got a text message or call from their daughter across town? Of course. How about a state away? Still, yes. How about in another country? Still, yes; parents would do anything to rescue their beloved daughter.

What about a niece? How about a neighbor’s daughter? How about a stranger’s daughter? How far does the example have to be removed for us to justify letting it suddenly become someone else’s problem, and no longer urgent? How often does it have to be reported on the news before we just shrug our shoulders and forget about it? How many years of self-centeredness does it take for us to picture such suffering and just walk away so we can catch up on our Facebook updates before we watch our favorite reality show?

No parent would say, “That’s not my calling to rescue my daughter.” No one would think of it as a special gift or talent. No one would act like it is a difficult sacrifice to go help his or her daughter escape such a situation. It would be understood that it’s a parent’s responsibility, and a parent would be proud to go. It would be an honor and a privilege to sacrifice anything to rescue a daughter in need. Why is it somehow a massive sacrifice we’re unwilling to make when it’s someone else’s daughter? And why are we so short-sighted about the toll the sacrifice will make on our lives when Christ has said that “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life"?

I will not allow this culture or even the Christian culture to callous me to the needs of the world. I am personally responsible, as all Christians are, to heed the call to reach out those with the most desperate needs. Book clubs and coffee houses and Superbowl parties are not wrong, but if that’s the sum and substance of our outreach, we have missed the boat.

Do we not understand the words? People are starving to death right now. Children are being sold into prostitution this very second. People are dying this instant in groups that still have no Bible.

How can we say this is anyone’s problem but ours—each and every one of ours? How can we turn a blind eye and focus our lives on anything else but those crying out with the deepest needs? If it were you or I, it would be an urgent matter. I will not let it become less than urgent simply because it is someone else’s problem and because it may cost me dearly to reach them. What cost could be too great to pay, especially in light of the great cost God paid--His own Son--to rescue us? If I were a father, I would ask others to be willing to pay any cost to rescue my children if I could not do so myself. It would eat me alive to watch my children be attacked or die of starvation or diseases. No cost is too great to rescue those who are perishing. No cost is too great in light of the cross.

I will not let my privileged status as someone who grew up in a safer, wealthier environment, to allow me to ignore the urgency of others’ plights. I will answer the call. As soon possible, I will go, and until I can go, I will help send others and pray for them, as well as for those to whom they are ministering. And as soon as I am able, I will answer the call that God issues to all of us.

Lord, send me!

To sit in His presence

What a blessing to simply sit in His presence and be still, to push out the noise of the world and listen to the Holy Spirit instead. I've always loved turning out all the lights and sitting on the floor with lit candles spread out around me, enough for me to be able to read Scripture. We quiet our hearts before Him, and sing songs to Him.

We ask Him to teach us. We learn that prayer is not as much about talking to God, but learning to listen; not as much about presenting our desires before Him, but aligning our desires with His will and the wisdom of His plan. We learn to stop striving, as if our plans, anxieties, and concerns were really all that they seem to be at first glance.

We look deeper, and find God leading us to quiet waters, teaching us to trust Him, to be patient, and to let Him give and take away as He sees fit. We learn obedience through suffering, and in quiet contemplation, we learn to see that suffering as infinitely worth it.

We begin to see the needs of the world as we imagine others all over the planet sitting around a campfire, or maybe by candlelight, as we are, asking God for food or security, or perhaps simply crying tears of grief to Him. And we see God crying tears over them, too, so we learn to cry tears for others as well. And we begin to beg Him to use us to wash their feet and carry their burdens.

We quiet our hearts and let eternity resonate into our thoughts. We focus on the Cross and see that it is so much more important than we act like it is in our daily lives. We cry out for transcendence.

We focus on our sin, and see that it is so much more horrifying than we will admit; our sin begins to truly disgust us, as it disgusts God. We begin to beg the Lord to deliver us from the hell of our own selfishness. We ask God to "make us holy, whatever it takes."

We listen, and discover that we need to listen better, and more often. We learn to put our hands over our mouths, and simply become students--disciples--of Christ. We ask for the way of wisdom, admitting that our own way has failed us. We ask for humility, so we might see ourselves correctly.

We ask for insight, so we might think clearly and translate our beliefs into a fortified worldview. We ask for a vision, to see God move us where He would have us go. We ask for openness, so that we will be truly willing and eager to obey His will. We ask for open doors, because we long to show the other beggars where we, who were once beggars ourselves, have found the bread.

We ask for protection, so that our faith would be strong. We ask for increasing intimacy with our loving Creator, that we might embrace what existence is ultimately all about. And we ask for the increasing ability to rest ourselves in Him, so that we might come back to these times of refreshing over and over again, for our delight, His glory, and simply because we truly long to be near Him, and to offer our gratitude to Him for the great things He has done.

It's all in your mind

The most important struggles of our lives take place in our minds. Sin or holiness, disbelief or faith, fear or trust, mediocrity or commitment, all start in the mind. That's why, in the book of Romans, after 11 glorious chapters about the glory of the salvation God has accomplished for us, the first words out of Paul's mouth are "present your bodies as a reasoned [Grk: logikos, "of the mind"] sacrifice and be transformed by the renewing of your mind." That is why he also says to "take every thought captive to Christ."

It's all about worldview. What you think is what you are. What you think determines your attitudes, your actions, your character, your choices, your legacy, and your eternity. Ideas have eternal consequences. Take your mind captive. Train yourself to think God's thoughts after Him. Have the mind of Christ.

The power of a smile

I'm repeatedly amazed at the power of a smile. Over and over at work, at the park, at the mall, anywhere I go, I see downcast faces, and all it takes is eye contact and a smile, and the smiles become contagious. If God has redeemed you, let it show on the outside. There is a world of hurting hearts all around us. Start with a smile, and see where God takes it. Let others know there is hope, and there is joy, despite the shadowlands.

The beauty

Embrace the beauty. Pursue it, revel in it, and dive into it with all your heart. God has woven beauty and majesty everywhere. Even in the darkest hours, there is abundant reason to stand in awe of God, in amazement at what He has created, and in gratitude for what He has done and what He is still doing. Drink deeply from the fountain of delights. Open your eyes; it is perfect sunrises and sunsets every day; there is sunshine everywhere. God delights to give His children good, beautiful gifts. God cannot but bless His Son's beloved Bride.

A new song

Over the last six months, it seems like I've been constantly singing. Whether I'm in the car, in the shower, at the park, and even at work (as a low-level hum), the Lord has put an overwhelming desire to sing in my heart to Him and because of Him. It's such a delight to see His joy coming out spontaneously, almost all the time. And it is such a privilege to be able to sing together with other believers at church and in their homes.

We are here to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, and that joy, that delight, can't help but come out of our mouths. The overflow of our gratitude for our salvation is testimony that we are redeemed, and that we dance and sing, literally or figuratively, at all times, before the Lord. Praise God for lifting our hearts off of the world, ourselves, sin, and sorrow, onto the bigger picture, onto the Cross, onto glory, and onto His love and grace.

Embrace the paradoxes

Embrace the paradoxes. There is beauty beyond comprehension in the mysteries, in not knowing all the answers, yet belonging to the One who does, and in being a child with endless questions but belonging to the faithful Father. Question for a short time, but do not let the questions hold you back from wonder, amazement, and worship. Fall on your knees and stare, and laugh. Stand confidently, and dance, and walk without fear, whether God answers your questions or not.

The power of God's Word

This past year I've been reading more of the Bible than I used to. It's been refreshing and renewing to dive deeper and deeper into the Word, and to be saturated with daily reminders of God's love and grace.

I just finished reading through The Message, which I highly recommend. It felt really different at first, but before long I found myself really enjoying that difference.

There are so many good things to read, but there's no substitute for simply spending time with the Lord and His love letter to us. Some days it's hard to carve out time because of our busy schedules, but it's worth it. God's Word grounds us in eternal truths and refocuses us for the path He asks us to walk, with His light to guide the way.

Hospitality, service, and encouragement

Over the past few weeks, God has overwhelmingly opened up doors for me to reach out to those in need and to show hospitality to people who were discouraged. People who had a loved one die, people facing fearful surgeries, people needing home-cooked meals or a freshly-baked loaf of bread, even people stuck on the side of the road where their car stopped in a dangerous place at night, were all somehow put on my path recently by the Lord.

A few months ago I prayed sincerely for the Lord to provide opportunities for me to share what I have, or to touch others' lives in some way, to really bless others, as God has blessed me. It has been amazing to see Him provide those opportunities, and, as always, in blessing others, we get more than blessed ourselves.

It's been such a delight and encouragement to my soul to see God using us, feeble instruments though we are, to help others, to help them stand when they are weak, and to let those who are suffering know they are not alone.

Praise God for comforting us, so we, in turn, can comfort others.

Disciplining our disappointments

Tonight I heard someone speak about the concept of disciplining our disappointments so that they do not get the better of us, but instead become launching points for good choices and a better future. As a Christian, I do think that we should be embracing that mentality, given that all our failures were nailed to the Cross, that the Lord has a plan for our good, that He will even turn what has been bad into good, and because we already know that ultimately, everything will turn to glory since we are now children of God. We are blessed to be able to bring the optimism of God to our disappointments.

Been thinking about patience

I've been thinking a lot recently about patience and how easily we get impatient. What makes us most impatient? Having to wait for God to bring about something we think we need, want, or deserve? Frustration that our timetables aren't being met by God? Sadness that we have to go through situations we'd rather avoid? Putting off our dreams, sometimes for a long time?

God does not make us wait for no reason. And when we circumvent His work, when we force our life situations to move in directions we want them to go, without His obvious blessing, we give up the very best that He would have for us, even if that best might cause us great pain at present. John Newton once said that “Everything is necessary that he sends. Nothing can be necessary that he withholds.”

Let's rather have God's will in His timing, than have our dreams now. Let's rather be patient and be teachable, than have our way but miss out on something He wants to teach us. Let's not sacrifice the best for anything less.

Been thinking about heaven

I've been thinking recently about heaven, specifically about what it's going to be like in terms of forgiving other believers and being forgiven by them. I know that for about the first millenia or two, we'll be so mesmerized by the glory of Christ that we will probably barely recognize that there's any else even there in heaven, but I'm sure we'll eventually find a way to start finding acquaintances who are there.

And I wonder about the dynamics of our "bodies" up there, and how we'll see each other. I imagine we'll be fully naked, body and spirit, fully exposed to each other in some sense, with absolutely nothing to hide from our hearts.

And I imagine conversations with brothers and sisters in Christ who, on earth, deeply wounded us. They perhaps judged us, or wrote us off, or hurt us because someone else hurt them, or just plain acted selfishly. And I imagine standing there, feeling the waves of glory pulsating around us, more conscious than ever before of the depths to which we had fallen before Christ saved us, and of the wonder of our salvation through Christ's death on the Cross.

And I imagine standing there, somehow crying tears of joy, seeing everything made right by God. As if both I and the other person had ESP, not really, but maybe, but at least both knowing something of what the other was thinking.

And it would no longer be thoughts like the ones we had on earth, like, "You hurt me so, so badly," or, "Why didn't you come back to the table to at least talk and try to work things out?" or, "Why did you treat me as if I were worthless?"

Instead, it would be wave after wave of understanding. It would be understanding the depths to which our wounds in childhood affected us all into adulthood. It would be understanding how our pride and self-protective measures kept us from truly living, despite claiming all our lives that an abundant life is what we truly desired more than anything else. It would be understanding that somehow God used our selfish, sinful choices, including being spiteful and writing other people off, and somehow turned it to glory.

I'm sure I can't even imagine how it will really be, but I like to try all the same. I really look forward to understanding forgiveness, and human nature, and the Gospel, to the depths God will reveal them to us in eternity. I look forward to being more able than ever to forgive--even the really big things that people have done, even the dreams they tried to kill. And I look forward to feeling forgiven by others as well.

I look forward to us all looking at each other as if to say, "Yeah, I know I shouldn't have done that," and the other responding, "Yeah, and I know I shouldn't have such and such in return." And at the same time fully realizing that whether our offenses were small or big, once or repeated over a lifetime, that we're now new creations in full. We knew we had been declared new creations when we were still on earth, but now we've come into the full realization of it. We feel the compulsion to ask each other forgiveness to make things right, but there isn't even the hint that anyone will ever get defensive or walk away or not forgive each other. In heaven, everyone will come back to the table, reconcile, talk it through, hear each other out fully, and act and react in love. No one will write other people off, for any reason, ever, and those who did in life will be joined back together, if they are both saved.

I look forward to the really long, tearful hugs. Christians who threw us away. People whom we may have tried to hurt back. Hugging. Embracing. Crying and laughing at the same time. People who wouldn't talk to us in life, or vice versa, now embracing each other with tears of joy that we stand both redeemed and reconciled to both God and each other. Smiling at each other--both of us truly, deeply happy.

I really look forward to reconciliation. I hate broken relationships, and I know God does, too. I look forward to the joy, the sweeping sense of peace, knowing that everything truly is okay, and from then on, always will be, that forgiveness will be pervasive and ubiquitous, and will help usher us all onto the heavenly dance floor, where the party will truly begin.

I look forward to living today in light of that future glory.

Why I am writing a book about the body and sexuality

I am writing a book about the body and sexuality because I believe that we Christians have sent the wrong message about how to pursue purity.

I grew up in an environment where sexuality was rarely talked about, and when it was discussed, it was with a "don't think about it" attitude. I went to Bible college, and most men's Bible study groups ended up being about guys repenting for the hundredth time about their thought lives. And I never once met a guy who felt victorious in the fight.

And I began to think deeply about the question, "If what we have really is the truth, and if the truth really can change lives, then why isn't what we're doing here changing lives?" All these people were defeated in their Christian lives, deeply ashamed, full of remorse, and not at all enjoying who they were created to be--including myself.

And I realized, over time, that it was possible to have the truth, the real, full truth, but to be misunderstanding and misapplying it. And that began to crystallize in the area of sexuality.

Basically, most thinking on the subject of sexuality in the Christian world goes: "It's dangerous, it will take you down, you can't trust your flesh, don't think about it at all, don't entertain any thoughts whatsoever about sexuality, or you're sinning." At least that's what I heard, over and over.

And I realized that where we were starting, on a Bible timeline, was with the Fall of Adam and Eve. We were starting with the dangers, which are certainly real, but that it wasn't the full picture.

Where the story starts is before the Fall, where God created us glorious creatures. If we hadn't fallen, all humanity would be naked, and we would all see each other as God's glorious works of art.

And when you begin to see humanity, and your own body and sexuality, through that lens, and really let it dig down deep to the level of your worldview, everything changes.

The fight against sin changes from a fight to "not look" into the responsibility to "look at the whole thing through different eyes."

Take, for example, a woman's breasts. They are obviously beautiful, and lovely, and attract men. But men, even Christian men, are enslaved to them in many ways. So the goal becomes to avoid seeing a woman's breasts at all costs, which is ridiculous, because any time a man sees a woman, he's going to see breasts. And they might be covered, but that doesn't matter much to a man. His thought life can easily undress any woman. So he's still defeated.

The goal has to be to see breasts differently.

If a woman took her top off in front of a bunch of rowdy construction workers, she'd get stares, and perhaps some excited yelling. But if she just stood there, the novelty factor would wear off, and men would eventually be thinking to themselves, "All right, honey, you're pretty, but we've got work to do." And if she stood there long enough, and the men were free to stare, they'd put breasts in the proper perspective--they're beautiful but they're not supposed to be those men's masters.

And if we could see breasts from a doctor's eyes, through dissections, through charts and graphs of how they function to feed a baby, and of all the things that can go wrong in them, we'd again change our perspective, and see them as even more beautiful because of their function, but not so much as reasons to be enslaved and defeated for fifty years--which most Christian men face.

And the more I thought about all that, I realized that one of the litmus tests of perversion was breastfeeding. This beautiful process, where a woman is feeding her baby, tells how healthy or skewed we are. A woman's body is clearly designed to bear children and feed them. Her hips, her sexual organs, etc., are designed to receive that life, and her breasts are clearly designed to nourish that newborn.

But what do men see when they see a woman breastfeeding, especially in public? A majority of them see something pornographic, something they think they should not see. To me, that's absurd. Breastfeeding is beautiful, and it's a clear reminder by God of how He takes care of and nourishes His children. It's also a clear reminder of how God uses points of immense pleasure in our lives as part of normal healthiness and nourishment. He delights to give His children good gifts. Breasts are sexual objects, but they are so much more, and there is a context for the different ways they should be seen.

Imagine a teenage boy today, growing up like everyone else, who for the first time at age sixteen or seventeen sees a woman with her top open, feeding her baby. What would he be thinking? He'd be thinking, "I want to look but I shouldn't." And if he can look without getting caught, he will. But he will feel ashamed for looking. And if he could, he'd go fantasize and masturbate over it.

But imagine a boy who'd grown up in a home where that sight was normal and frequent. Where he'd seen his mother and aunts and cousins breastfeed many times in front of everyone. Where he'd been to art galleries that included nude art, and his parents not only didn't rush him through those galleries, but stopped, admired, and appreciated the beauty of the art.

And what if his parents said all his life, "Son, you are going to face a hard struggle at times to be pure, but before we talk about that in depth, which we will, your mom and I want to send you the clear message that your desires and the pleasure you can experience in life is a gift from God. You should celebrate how much you long to enjoy sexuality, and how much you enjoy the beauty of a woman. Don't think for one minute that God is displeased with your desires--after all, He gave them to you. And as you think along those lines, as you celebrate how God created you, understand, too, that God designed it to work best in the confines of marriage, where is it safe, and where there is commitment. In that context, God permits us to take all this beauty, and enjoy it to the hilt. So see yourself as God's living art, worth keeping pure, when the time is right for you to get married, dive in headfirst and thank God for such a wonderful gift."

And what if his parents backed it up, as I said, by not being ashamed themselves, and not making the body a big deal, and by his mom and other family members breastfeeding in front of him all through his childhood?

What would such a boy be thinking as he sees a woman breastfeeding? He'd think it's lovely, normal, and good. It's nourishing that little baby. And he could walk right up to that nursing mother and sit down and watch, and think that it's beautiful, and then get up and walk away without any guilt or fantasizing.

And when he got married himself, he wouldn't be thinking, "I've spent the last ten years thinking how I shouldn't think about a woman's curves or breasts, and feeling immensely guilty over that, and now I get to switch gears and enjoy it, but I know I'll still feel guilty for a while, because that's how I've always been trained to feel about these things."

Instead, he wouldn't be struggling at all with guilt, would see his desires and his wife's desires as wonderful through and through, and would be ready to jump in and delight in his wife and their sexuality.

The body is meant to be seen as good, and rejoiced in. Only in that context can we truly fight sin the right way. The goal is not to stop looking or thinking about the body or about sexuality. The goal is to see it through pure eyes, and with a rejoicing, thankful heart.

Writing this book has transformed my life and my perspective. I see the world more beautifully than ever before, and I could not go back to the old way of thinking if I tried.

Together

We are not meant to live our lives alone. We are meant to eat together, work together, live together. We’re not meant to handle life on our own. We're supposed to be strong enough to handle life filled with people. Relationships are what push us forward. Intimate relationships can open and heal wounds we've hidden for years. In a close relationship, we are constantly challenged to love when we're empty, to show grace where there's none due, and to unveil the flaws we try to conceal. It’s where we learn to be good forgivers and to live out the love God has shown us.

Slaves of Christ

On the way to church tonight I was listening to a sermon about how we don't like to talk about being slaves to Christ. There are five or six words in Greek that can be used to talk about being a servant, but the word the New Testament uses most often is the word doulos, which is the word "slave," even though it's often translated more generically as servant.

But the word actually means "slave," and if the writers had wanted to refer more generically to servants, they had plenty of other words to pick from. But we are called "slaves" of Christ.

I am not saved so that God can fulfill all my dreams, or make my life whole--though He often does. I am called to follow and obey Him, no matter what. Christ is my master, and I am His slave.

And being His slave is better than being free in any other sense. Having Him as my master is the most liberating state possible, because I am free to be what He created me to be.

Why I am a CLC

I'm writing a book about people's attitudes toward the body--everything from general body image to attitudes about sexuality, fertility, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and raising children with a healthy, relaxed body image--and the more I've read about it, written about it, and thought about it, the more important it seems to support mothers and families so that they can give their children the very best care.

I took the CLC training in November, and was the only guy there, but I was given a round of applause by the women in the group, and when it came time for a group picture, they weren't concerned to have the instructor in the center of the picture, but to have me there instead! It was good to get that kind of support.

I had previously joined several Myspace and Yahoo BF groups, too, just to get a pulse on what was being said, and at first some women were questioning why I was there, especially as a single guy, but I shared my testimony, values, and goals, and by the time the discussions were over, they were actually apologizing to me for being so skeptical and were inviting me to other groups as well!

I have seen that our society's views towards mothers feeding their children, including in public places, is a litmus test of its perversion, and it really is important and vital to send messages to the next generation of what the beauty of life and love and family is all about.

As a 30-year old single male, it’s obviously hard for me to get involved in breastfeeding advocacy, but I am a sincere person who has become thoroughly convinced that the way our society sees the body has to be changed, including how people view the beauty of reproduction and breastfeeding. My website, http://www.rediscoverbreastfeeding.com/, demonstrates my commitment to these values.

My book is a major effort, and I really do hope that it will make a strong impact on a lot of people, but it’s a big book (manuscript is several hundred pages long right now) so it will be at least a few months before it’s ready for publication. It's truly changing my worldview and my life. Awesome stuff.

I am sure it sounds weird to some for a guy to be a CLC, or just to think the way I do, and some people would probably not be able to think of it any other way, but isn't what I'm doing the point of it all?

When we think of men addicted to pornography, or men who do think of breasts or a woman's body only in terms of a man's pleasure, we destine men to failure, because they can't see it as anything other than the way the media portrays it. And men, in turn, are unable to support breastfeeding, and just to respect and appreciate women the way they should, because everything has been sexualized to the point that men can't even focus on the goodness of breastfeeding--they miss the beauty of it all for the turn-on that it could be. And that dynamic, in turn, affects women negatively, because they grow up feeling like they are supposed to keep covered at all costs, and don't feel free to breastfeed in public, or even supported to breastfeed at home in private in some cases. It's so sad. I feel bad for the men and women who never get out of that cycle of seeing the body that pornographic way.

Until I got involved in breastfeeding advocacy and education, I had never in my life heard anyone, male or female, say, "The human body is beautiful, and should be seen as art, and its natural functions, especially regarding reproduction, need to be elevated and understood as the wonderful works of God that they are."

If we ever want men to see a woman's body and not objectify it, and if we want men to stop thinking that the only kind of women that are attractive are the ones with a certain figure, or a figure that is possible only in a woman's teens and twenties, then we doom them to failure. Many of them won't see a breastfeeding woman as beautiful, and even if they do, they will see it only through sexual eyes, in which a woman is "hot" rather than "beautiful, " and her breasts as something to excite him rather than as a way to nourish a precious new life. I still can't get over the fact that I have never heard anyone tell me that there's another way to view the body than the shame-producing one I've always been sold.

For the most part, women have been very encouraging that a man would be involved in stuff like this. As I said above, when I was taking the CLC class last year, the class of thirty women gave me a round of applause for what I was doing. I think they did so because they knew how much of a missing element male involvement is. Women need men's support, and the awesome thing is that when women feel supported in being who they are supposed to be as women, wives, and mothers, they, in turn, are equipped to better support their husbands in all that they are supposed to be.

My primary goal with my book is for us to ask ourselves what kind of parents we should be when we raise our children. What if, instead of a kid being raised to see the way the body is shown on tv, or cartoons, or movies, or car ads in magazines, what if instead little boys great up watching their dad treat their mom like a princess, and what if the boys were invited from the earliest age to watch the beauty of their mom nursing the next baby. And what if that never switched to a mode of "you shouldn't see that," "Don't look," "If you look at that, you're dirty”?

If they could see the body from that elevated perspective, do you know what pornography would look like to them? It would look like graffiti on a Monet. They would know what's worth only $5 and what's worth $25 million, and they'd refuse the false, and want the real--and save themselves years of guilt in the dark, thinking they're all bad, when in reality, their desires are very, very good, but simply need to be understood in the right context, with the right boundaries.

It's amazing: when you bring this stuff out into the light, the bad stuff loses its power. It really does.

What I think will work is sending the clear message to the next generation that they are God's precious art, of overwhelming value, so much so that they wouldn't want to throw themselves away, and they won't want to miss enjoying the beauty of how God made them.

We don't mind throwing away a $2 clay pot when it breaks; we just buy a new one, put a new ribbon around it, and a flower inside it, and start over. But if we knew that the art we were dealing with was priceless, and especially if the Artist were putting hints and metaphors of transcendence into that art, wouldn't we care for it?

And we wonder why kids are cutting themselves these days ...

To me this subject is a paradox, as so much of life is. We have to think really deeply about this stuff, or we'll just perpetuate the same vicious cycles, viciously ashamed of what God is proud of, and if we were proud of it, we wouldn't be more whimsical, we'd be less. We'd take care of our bodies and pursue that reality, real life, where women look the way real women do, and celebrating the body, in the right context and the right way.

I've read a lot about Natural Family Planning, and it amazes me how wonderful the body is. God made the female body with cycles that are mind-boggling, and the extent that most of us guys have ever heard about it is PMS. But it is amazing, and something that would make guys respect women more, and protect them more, if they only took the time to really understand it and see the body as the wonderful creation that it is. Guys don't know the hundredth of it. Actually, from what I've read and the people I've talked to about it, most girls don't know much more, either, in terms of the actual details of what's going on inside them and why.

But it's all so beautiful! Why are we living in such ignorance? Why are we living on such mundane levels, almost like animals, when this transcendence, this elegance, this precious life is right there, in our own bodies and in the bodies of those around us, to be understood, appreciated, and honored?

We are living art. We stare at museum walls with paintings on them, but men and women are living, breathing, walking, reproducing, breastfeeding art. We are worth so much more than we act like we are.

That's why I love the idea of encouraging and helping my wife someday, of protecting and nurturing her in such a way that makes her safe, where she feels like she can take care of her body, and enjoy being a woman, and bring a life into this world, and know that she'll be supported as much as possible by me.

I was talking a few months ago to a woman at work who just returned to work from her maternity leave. She has a three-month old baby at home. This woman looks half the time like she's staring into the cubicle wall, eyes glazed over, and from several talks we've had, she misses her baby at home so much. Her face shows that her heart is there at home, and it's just a shadow of her that's there at work, typing away at a computer. I feel bad for her. She's expressed over and over how much she wants to be home with him.

Maybe that mental picture will offend some people, because they think it hinders a woman, but personally, I believe in what some might call "old-fashioned" values, where a woman has the opportunity, if she desires, to stay at home with her baby. I can't imagine the heart-wrenching that must go on when a woman has been caring for, cuddling, and breastfeeding her baby for several months straight, watching the baby fall asleep on her, warm body to warm body, and to have to exchange that for a computer screen and a grey cubicle.

I don't know about the other men my age who are single, but as for me, when I get married, I will be doing everything I can to help and support my wife in all these areas.

I had a teacher in college whose wife gave birth to a daughter during a semester when I was taking one of his classes, and the first day after he came back, he took an entire class to talk directly to the guys about how when their wives had children, that those guys were to treat their wives like queens (not to say treat them any less good before having kids). I think the ladies in that class wanted to give him applause by the time he was done.

You can probably see how much I care about these subjects, and thus how I could be working on a book that's now hundreds of pages long. But it's so worth it. I wouldn't trade what I'm learning for the world.

I feel like God has been preparing me for twenty years to write this book, and to truly "change my mind" about so many subjects, and I want to do that to the best of my ability, which means getting others' wisdom and feedback.

I want to be the best prepared husband I can be to my future wife, so I read books about Natural Family Planning, and about pregnancy, and breastfeeding, and raising children, and I really do think that despite the misunderstanding it will create with some people, I am honoring God in my desire to appreciate the body the way He would have us do, and that I am interested not in something I shouldn't be, but in something that we all should be, men included, from a healthy perspective.

Providence and requitement

There is so much inside the heart yearning to be free that providence is almost bound to bring to pass a time of restitution when all wrongs will be made right and love will be requited. The dreams that put a sparkle in the eyes of a child and hope in a young man or woman in looking to the future are reflections of the place where humanity began--in Paradise, a utopic garden where God and man walked side-by-side, where shame did not exist, and where love flourished. While Eden cannot be regained, in Christ there is the hope of a return to that state of life, but not just in heaven. In the context of a man and a woman, a day can arrive when the lovers face each other--perhaps disillusioned, with all masks removed--and there find that the love of God has renewed all things: that while hope deferred had made their hearts sick, their desire fulfilled has become a tree of life. Because of trust, they can relinquish their fears and simply plunge into love as if purposefully falling backwards off of a high cliff, dropping into love itself, and finding the paradox that what others have tried to do to their demise, these lovers do, and for the first time in their lives, truly live. That is the nourishing of the soul and the rapturous requiting of love.

Fearful

This stage is fearful. The spotlight seems to be on me, but the light is actually everywhere on the stage, so it's probably just my pride that makes me think it's on me. But I am on this stage alone. The curtains are halfway drawn, though, and there might be other actors behind them. I can't see the audience but they are there; they are as quiet as mice, except for a stray voice somewhere up front. They must be waiting for me to say my lines. I don't know them. Did I ever get them? I can't remember. I'm feeling rather dizzy, and I can't think straight. Others might be waiting for me to say my part, and then they will come up, but I don't know what to do. How did I even get here? What door did I come in? This is all so confusing.

The stage is the biggest I've ever seen in my life; I can't even see the back edge, though I'm pretty close to the front edge. The sides of backstage are far away, too, which makes it rather inconvenient for anyone to whisper me my lines. But then I might not have lines. Maybe I'm supposed to do something. Maybe I'm just supposed to walk somewhere or cry or laugh or sit down or lie down or pretend I'm eating or . . . oh, I can't remember. Did anyone ever give me my lines? I can't figure out my part, and I wish those curtains would close because I feel conspicuous and naked. Oh, my gosh, am I naked? Whew! I'm not. I have a strange outfit on, but they are clothes; that's a blessing.

I wonder how long I've stood up here and talked to myself. Hey, maybe that's what I'm supposed to do. Maybe my part is just to stand here. But that doesn't make a lot of sense. If it were my part, someone else would have come out and started talking to me or something by now. Maybe this isn't a stage. Maybe it's a big cage and I'm being teased like a rat. I wish I could see the audience. I bet they can all see me. I bet there are sixty trillion people out there. No, let me change that. I'm wrong about a lot of things, so if I guess at first that lots of people are out there, I'm probably wrong. I bet there's just one or two people out there. What would one or two people want with me, anyway? They must be judges or critics or something, writing away vigorously on their notepads all the little things that I'm doing wrong. Maybe they're in a good mood today, and they won't notice if I don't say my lines correctly. Lines? What lines? Why did I just say "lines?" I don't have lines, do I?

I am alone, that much I know. If I could just find someone to help me remember, I'd feel a lot more confident. But maybe if I find someone else and he doesn't remember either, then we look really bad. Oh, bother. I am tired. I want to sleep. Maybe that's my part. Maybe I'm supposed to go to sleep. No, that's a silly thought. I wish so much that I could figure out my part. I wish I weren't alone up here. I wish I knew what to do.