Grace and Maturity in Community

In our relationships with friends, family, loved ones, and even strangers, we deal constantly with expectations and disappointments. People let us down and differences surprise us. We get taken aback, and sometimes hurt or offended by what they say and do, or fail to say and do. It's in these contexts that so many of us fall into the common trap of losing sight of the preciousness of life itself, and of relationships with those who are not like us.

There are so many different levels on which all of us can be offended or disappointed. Even in our small communities, connected by blood or connected by shared values, we can all find disagreement among ourselves sometimes. We find varying worldviews and opinions even among people whose beliefs appear, at first glance, nearly identical.

I wonder what it is about us, especially for those of us who claim to be children of God, that feels we have the right and need to be so judgmental, and even to write people off. I have been written off before, and I have known others who have, too, and though it is painful, it is more sad for Christians who choose to make such choices an option.

It is sad that the grace we have been shown at the Cross seems to make so little difference in our lives. I have seen people proclaim with their whole heart that they were committed to grace, truth, beauty, love, and kindness, and almost in the same breath issue the nastiest of comments in vicious tones. As James says, these things ought not to be.

We are all entitled to make up our own minds about issues of Christian liberty. As Paul wrote, "Let everyone be convinced in his own mind." Everyone makes up his or her own mind about his or her beliefs and their application. We are all also are free to learn and grow without the stigmatism of having to reach up to others’ standards. Growth takes time, and even what we think of as “maturity” changes, and thus the goal of what a good, mature Christian life looks like takes different shapes for us as we experience life.

I wonder why we are so quick to criticize those who hear the beat of a different drum. Why are we so disdainful of people who think differently than we do? Why does it feel so appropriate to write off those who choose to think differently from the group and the culture? Why are we so threatened by people who are not like we are?

If we want to be quick to judge others and write them off, especially over issues of Christian liberty, we should remember that there are many other Christians who will write us off for something as well. We all could make that list a mile long with issues and perspectives that make us unique and which the different Christian sub-cultures tend to focus on. And the people who will write others off who are different are a dime a dozen. Does anyone out there want to be different than that?

What a beautiful choice to take the path of not getting offended at people who see things differently. It makes life more beautiful and gracious as a result, opens up doors for compromise and open dialogue, and gives us the freedom to let people be different, yet still valuable to us. It lets us ask God what paths He would have us travel, and gives us the peace and maturity to let others travel different roads without condemning them or moving away from them. It keeps misunderstanding from becoming argument, and keeps disagreement from becoming separation.

A long time ago I chose to embrace certain premises, which I know I don’t always live up to, but I’m aiming at them, and want to share them.

• No matter what differences arise between me and others, we cannot not lose sight of the fact that their very existence is a precious miracle and that they have infinite value to God. The very fact that they are alive, and that God has brought them across our path, is of profound import. Writing off anyone, especially a believer, is essentially saying that they are worthless, when in reality, they are destined for glory, we will worship together at the feet of Jesus for eternity, and chances are that even in this life, what we think of as disagreement will look completely different, sometimes years later, sometimes much sooner.

• We are all interpreting other people through our personal worldview perspective, which may be wrong or imbalanced even though it feels right, based on how we were raised by our parents. We all have paradigms and filters, and most of us do not even know what they really are, and many of us could not figure them out even if we tried, because they are so deep. We are all faulty in various ways, and our perceptions are faulty, too.

• Others have a worldview shaped by their upbringing and experiences that we do not know and which may be vastly different from our and from what we expected from them. That does not make it wrong, but different. We are compelled to open dialogue, and ask others to share where they come from—not to dictate how they must change.

• Everyone has a culture. Family culture. National culture. Church culture. Personality uniquenesses. To miss the background someone is coming from, and to fail to see it as not only important, but valuable, is a sad, tunnel-visioned perspective.

• Everyone has an agenda. We do not know what anyone's agenda is, and an individual may not even be aware of it. We do not know their motivations, and whether those motivations are conscious or subconscious. Is it fear? Despair? Self-protection? Hope? Good will? A desire to bless others?

• Everyone has a story. We do not know where they have been. We have not walked in their shoes. We do not know at what point in that story we have walked in. We may be entering their lives at a crucial point—and thus our responses to them may be more important than we would expect. What we do or fail to do in those contexts may have massive implications in their lives.

• Everyone wears a mask to some extent. That does not imply that we're all supposed to be trying to pry those masks off from others to get to the core of what they are about, but it does mean that we acknowledge that there is more than meets the eye. The surface impression may be very different from reality. If we make snap judgments, we are probably missing the boat.

• The “issue" is usually not the full issue, or even the issue at all. What we say is often just at the surface of what we are really thinking or feeling. Maturity compels us to be careful what we say or allow ourselves to feel if we are not yet able to be fully open, and maturity also compels us to both take people at face value and yet realize that there is almost always more to be said to truly understand what they meant.

• There are three sides to every story and perspective: the two people telling the story or sharing their perspective, and reality. Maturity involves admitting that and choosing to pursue humility and communication, not to cut off relationships and burn bridges. We rarely have all the facts, and even when we may have all the facts, we rarely understand them and the full context in which they occurred.

• We are accountable before God for every word that comes from our mouths. We are responsible to have our speech be seasoned with salt, and to have the law of kindness be on our tongues.

• Relationships take work. People who want every friendship or relationship to be an instant perfect fit are sadly mistaken about how life and people work. We buy into the lie, especially in relationships, that others must be perfect, and every part of a relationship must be instantly perfect, or we write them off. Good relationships happen when you have two good communicators and forgivers who resolve to focus on the value of the people and of the relationship over any other issue.

• Relationships take time. People change and grow, and the important point is to grow together, not apart. Friends and lovers alike will be blessed by not looking for instant gratification or instant perfection in the relationship; the beauty of just doing life together, and letting God open doors, change hearts, and create beauty on His timetable, is crucial to our happiness and healthiness in relationships.

• We are our brother and sister’s keeper. We are responsible for their well-being, even if we disagree with them.

• We are not called to judge people. We are called to testify to God's grace, and sometimes that requires pointing out sin so that we can point to the Cross, but our focus is not to examine every person inside and out to see if they measure up to us or some other standard.

• We are called to be people of grace. Grace means we show kindness, whether or not it is deserved; in fact, we learn to ignore and remove the question of what people "deserve"; we simply treat them as the precious people that they are, no matter what. The ones who treat us badly we treat with even more love, because we know how deeply imprisoned they must be, and we remember when we were prisoners, so we delight to show them how to escape and move into the beauty of a life of grace.

• God’s heart is for His people to be unified. He hates broken relationships. If I am offended by someone, I have the responsibility to restore that relationship, even though I am the one offended, and if I am the offender, I doubly have the responsibility to pursue forgiveness and unity. God loves when brothers and sisters dwell together in unity.

• God’s heart is for us to not speak evil of each other. Giving a bad report about others, tearing them down, whether to their face or to others, is displeasing to God. He longs for us to embrace each other as community, not tear at each other as wolves. His heart is for us to take differences and pray about them, and keep lines of communication open, not send messages that attempt to make others feel personally diminished or their opinion relegated to unimportance.

I double my resolve to make increasing effort to show people grace and kindness in my speech, and to let differences be opportunities for friendships to flourish, not to be cut off, and for dialogue and negotiation. God calls us to be people of grace, and a watching world will see when kindness slips off our tongues and permeates our relationships, and they will take notice. And when they do, to God be the glory.

Love Letter to my Wife

My dear sweetheart,

We may not have even met yet, but I am writing this love letter to you to share my heart with you. 

 











Whether you read this today or sometime in the future, I hope that the message somehow gets through to your heart right now.

 











Know that I long for you, and am eager to meet you.  We both know that some days just feel so lonely,














and without each other, things feel like they go from bad to worse,












and what you thought would be pleasant does not turn out so nicely,










because what you want feels out of your reach,

 








and you almost feel like something is trying to take you down.

  









Without each other, we feel a little lost,

 







like we've gone too long without the hope of finding each other.

After a while, it begins to feel like something's just not right,

 








And you think you'll never find what you're looking for.

 











Know that you are on my mind all the time. I don't see a sunrise or sunset, or flowers, and not think of you.

 








It almost hurts to see the most beautiful parts of life and not have you there by my side. I dream of you every day. You are the first thought on my mind in the morning, and the last thought on my mind at night.

It almost seems like you're already here. I can't wait to show you my favorite park, but sometimes when I'm walking there, it seems like you're there beside me, in spirit.  It's like we're already having a conversation, unspoken but mutually understood. I feel like everything I do is either for you, or with you in mind, and it is lovely, but I want to see you, touch you, and hold you. Please come soon.

My heart aches for you a lot. And that makes me wonder if your heart is aching too, and if it is, know that I promise to more than make up for those lonely days when we finally come together.

 








 I'm spending my time wisely, and I'm sure you are, too. I'm trying to use it for God's glory, trying to prepare as well as possible for our marriage and family, and simply enjoying life as much as possible without you, my best friend; it isn't easy, but I do it, knowing that God will bring us together in His time.

I'm going to another ballroom dance at my church this weekend, and though you won't be there, I'm thinking of you, and wishing I were dancing with you.

 











I can't wait to meet you. We both know that God delights to give His children good gifts, so we know that God is preparing us for each other. It will be so good for our hearts to finally find each other. I already love you, my precious beloved.

 











I often wonder what's going on in your life these days. I imagine what you must be up to, and look forward to hearing your stories of how the Lord has guided and provided for you.

 









Please wait for me. I am waiting for you. Please be careful with your heart and mind. Please save the best and most important things for us.

Please don't give up hope. Hang in there,

 









keep dancing,














and don't let these deferred hopes make you jaded or sarcastic.

Light will break,

and glory will shine through.

 








Our love will bloom,

 











our day will come,

 












and what a celebration it will be.

 









We will make sweet memories,

 








and pursue beauty together,

and live our dreams,

 








and go on grand adventures,

 









and have babies,

 











and create a home together. 

 









I know some days are so very difficult while we are still waiting for each other. Our Father will bring us together in time, I am sure. I hope it is soon.  Fairy tales do come true,

 








and I will wait for you

 











and treasure your beautiful heart.










I miss you so, so much.

 







I long to see your face, to look into your beautiful eyes, and delight in the "glances of knowing"--knowing each other's hearts and minds, probably in large part almost immediately, because we will be kindred spirits. And knowing the struggle it has been to wait on God to open these doors to bring us together, knowing our hopes and dreams, and knowing that we can trust each other fully, and praise God even more for the great things He has done for us.

I am praying for you. Please come soon! And feel a big hug from me until then, dear one.  I love you.

 








Your beloved,

--Tim

Embracing Beauty

The word "sehnsucht" is German for "intense desire or longing." I first saw it in a book by C.S. Lewis in which he was talking about his childhood. He said that he and his brother had a playroom from which they could see distant mountains which they desperately wanted to visit. Those mountains became the basis of some of their imaginary adventures. They wanted to go to those mountains more than anything else in the world, but they could not. Yet, because the mountains were close enough to be seen, the boys were daily tantalized with the idea of someday going to their dream land. When he became older, Lewis tried to explain how much he had wanted to go to those mountains, and no one English word could sum up what he had felt. He chose to explain it as "sehnsucht." When I saw that word and understood what it meant, I identified with Lewis' feelings. His description summarizes a deep part of us that comes out in how we think and feel about almost every part of our lives, from our love of beauty, to our spiritual lives, to our dreams for marriage and family, to our love of learning.

We so often find ourselves lost in the wonder of this life, but when setbacks, disappointments, and broken dreams enter the picture, we find it more necessary than ever to entrench ourselves in the all-consuming mindset of delight. God made us to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever. To rightly understand and appreciate what He has done, is doing, and will do, and most importantly, to enjoy Him, we need eyes to see the beauty. Pursue beauty; embrace it; immerse yourself in it, even when life is dark or confusing. Seeing the beauty of the Lord and of His work makes our heart dance, and slowly but surely changes our worldview perspective on everything, in the most beautiful ways.

All it takes is a simple smile and a friendly voice. It begins with a sunrise and lasts through the sunset. It can start with a flower. Sensory perceptions turn into little delights every day, and the chain of events has begun.

We find strange comfort from the sound of pages turning in a book. We hear Gregorian chants, flutes playing softly, and a choir singing proudly. We hear the ticking of old clocks and enjoy smell of candles at night. Our hearts slowly open to the possibility, to the ultimate reality, that there is something beyond the surface of what we see.

A jar full of pencils or paint brushes greets us at our desk, and we can’t help but smile. We notice it when we feel wood not yet sealed, but sanded smooth. We see it in daffodils and daisies and roses. We even know it with things we have made, like when we touch homemade knitted sweaters and scarves.

It happens when we lie on grass in the shade or the feel sand in our hands at the beach as we make sand castles. It comes out when we sip iced tea in a rocking chair on the porch with a good book or a friend. It happens on a tree swing on a quiet afternoon. Tilling our gardens seems like work but somehow becomes play. It slips in when we hold a kitten or get a loving welcome from our dogs. It almost overwhelms us when we touch a baby’s skin.

Homemade bread baking in our kitchens takes us to another time. We find ourselves surprised by the beauty and taste of summer berries. We laugh and tell stories as we roast marshmallows over a fire in the late evening. We relax in the flavor of a delicious wine. We sit and ponder over the last cup of Earl Grey tea before bedtime.

We find it in cobalt blue vases, and stained-glass windows when the sun shines through them and projects beautiful colors all over the house. It’s in every natural rainbow and every rainbow made by a prism. We realize that our eyes are amazing, how light bounces off things we look at and into our eyes, and then we get an image in our heads. We stand in awe at the millions of colors we see everywhere. We see flowers reach for the sun by day, and we watch the moon and stars come out at night. We enjoy silver antiques, we paint folk art, we create photo albums, and we write black words on white homemade paper. We watch the crackling of the fire in the fireplace on a cold night. We see Baby's Breath flowers, wood stained cherry, marbles, birds with exotic colors, calligraphy, old Baroque and Impressionist paintings. We stare endlessly at the clouds. Beauty always creeps in—and often storms in—everywhere we look.

God designed animals to bring it out in us in fun yet profound ways. We see it when we watch puppies learn to walk or see dogs frolicking without a care in the back yard. We see it when we hold a gentle, trusting baby lamb. We find ourselves talking to our animals as if they understood; and yet, at the same time and in another sense, it is we who are beginning to understand something deeper about life. We hear bees buzzing, crickets chirping, frogs croaking, and birds singing their songs of praise every day, and see lightning bugs’ muted, quiet, yellow songs at night. Even the creek has a song as it bubbles over rocks and the water winds its way through its course.

The sun pours in through lacey curtains, and the morning light impresses on us as if the light were life itself. The transition from the early sunrise to the golden afternoon glaze becomes a daily metaphor for our lives, so we stand amazement at sunsets, as if another beautiful life has come and gone before our eyes, and we long to somehow hold on to those moments forever. We stand in awe at the beautiful power of lightning, and revel in the strange calm that comes through the delicious wind of a stormy night. We lie in bed and listen to the rain outside, and know that there is beauty there beyond what we understand, yet we do not ponder it too long: we simply delight in it.

We watch the seasons, and again see life portrayed before us every year. We watch the blooming of Spring flowers, the ripening and budding of the Summer crops, the beautiful transitioning to Autumn leaves, and enjoy preparing our Winter homes so we can watch the beautiful snow drifts and look in wonder at the detail of ice patterns on our windows.

Flowers almost overwhelm our senses. We plants flowers around our homes and bring some inside to intoxicate ourselves with the beautifully delicious scents. Life becomes a garden, with beauty adorning our table. Morning glories climb our trellises, giving us the sense that we ourselves are somehow climbing alongside them toward the sun.

In the evening, we sit on the floor with an open Bible by candlelight, and just sit and do nothing but think and breathe deeply, and pray, and try to hear God’s voice. We push out the noise of the world and listen to the Holy Spirit instead. We quiet our hearts before Him, and sing songs to Him. We let eternity resonate into our thoughts. We cry out for transcendence.
 

We find ourselves unable to resist the urge to take the overwhelming creativity we see all around us in nature and not become more creative ourselves. We draw and sketch and paint. We take photos because we can’t help but want to share the beauty we are seeing with others. We read literature and find ourselves writing our own books. We learn to work with our hands and find that while work is always good, it is best when it is creative, imaginative, and beautiful. We sing and play musical instruments because there is a song in our hearts welling up as never before.

We find this creativity inundating not just our perception of the world, but our very bodily interaction with it, and we find ourselves literally dancing. We clap our hands for joy. We smile more freely, laugh more fully, and even breathe more deeply as we find our senses becoming more alive than ever. We embrace our physical bodies, their desires, and praise Him for it all.

And the beauty continues, and increases. We take up hobbies of all kinds, because there is no limit to what we want to learn and what we are capable of creating. We study languages because we are amazed at the beauty of how God allows us to communicate. We read and write because we love words, and love to dream, imagine, create, and think carefully and well, for His glory.

We stare more and more in wonder at beautiful starry nights, and wonder how deep the universe goes. We soak in the sound of waves hitting the beach. We relish the sound of rain, which reminds us that God takes care of His creation. We smile as we hear snow falling, almost like a soft symphony of subtle praise to Him. We soak up all of life’s profundity and joy, and let life as a whole sink deep into our hearts to make an impact.

We realize and believe that this world is a playground for every part of us--for our bodies and for our minds, so we love to learn. We study foreign languages, because we love other people, other cultures, and because we love the beautiful complexity of communication. Learning how other people speak and live begins to delight our souls.

Whatever we look at—almost no matter what it is—begins to become breathtaking, and almost deserving worship, yet it leads us to the One who does deserve worship. God is indeed an Artist beyond our wildest dreams. We can't wait to get to heaven to see all the beauty waiting for us there, and we admit we can't do it justice even in our imagination because we are so fixed on this world. But we try, and delight in the trying and anticipating, and remove any hindrance from taking pleasure in this watercolor world. To not soak up and share with others the beauty becomes a waste, and so we are changed.

God is the One who puts a love for the beautiful in our hearts—for beautiful thoughts, for poetry, for art, for music, and creative works of literature, and for so much more. We find ourselves studying words and math and almost everything we can get our hands on as they all become attractive and exquisite tools that we no longer just use, but revel in, like they are new life forms just discovered.

We learn to focus on the imagination. We realize that the Creator who made all these things has an amazing, brilliant imagination, and that He put a reflection of that imagination in us. We learn to create, to visualize what is not yet, to think in terms of epic stories and even fairy tales. We realize that our longing for transcendence is beautiful, and proof we were ultimately made for a different place than this.

In this mindset, people become more beautiful to us. Long, meaningful conversations become what life is all about. Cherishing kindred spirits and reveling in lifetime friendships become our focus. It becomes so, so good to partake of dear friendships, to laugh and relish together every moment we have with loved ones. Sharing stories of love and life and of what the Lord is doing in our lives nourishes our souls. Our precious memories give us daily pause to be thankful to God for what He has abundantly done, and to ask for future grace.

The love He plants in us turns to a specific beloved one. God helps us understand that we best understand Him by loving another, and He grants us a life partner and a best friend. Marriage grants us the chance to finally take all this beauty of which we have already partaken so much, and delight in it most with that one person He has given us. Our ability to perceive and enjoy beauty is amplified exponentially as our deferred hope-chest becomes fulfilled desire. Our love letters turn to betrothals, and our best friends become our lovers.

The beauty of marriage is a daily reminder of how blessed we are by God. We hold hands because it is so good to be in physical contact with our mate. When we reach for that one, the touch of our skin, the act of reaching out, causes the other to reach back in love. We want to touch and be touched, to be held and embraced. We revel in the beauty of his masculine strength and desire, and of her feminine beauty and loveliness. Passion takes over as the beauty of the body consummates in our love. Intimacy reveals more and more of what this beauty has been all about. We enjoy our bodies without restriction. We delight in the strong embrace of her man: his kind, protective care, his affirming words and touch, and his masculine tenderness; the beauty of his woman: her elegant body, her soft face, her lovely eyes, her lips, her breasts, her hips, and her femininity.

We find romance and beauty in the ordinary parts of life, like waking up together to the sun, planting a garden as a couple, cooking dinner side by side, holding hands while taking late-night walks, and lingering on a porch swing in the moonlight. Flowers in her hair and a smile on her face become the most important things in the world to him. We dance together, even for just a few minutes, every night. We watch sunsets and count the stars together. We delight in embraces, in having our affection and passion directed toward each other often. We stare at each other longingly from across the room, and admire one another’s beautiful hearts and bodies. We thank God for our best friend. We inspire and encourage each other, and pray together, trying to always remind ourselves of the mindset of Christlikeness—of serving, of humility, and of pouring ourselves out for one another in love.

And beauty increases yet again as we realize that love begets life. The beauty of fertility, pregnancy, and childbirth surprises and delights us in ways we could not imagine. It is almost too much to see: the sight of a mother, having given all her love to her beloved husband, now turning to fully embrace how God made her body, as she feeds her baby from her own breast. And her husband, caring for his wife and child more than ever, doing all he can to protect and provide for them, and to nurture his marriage and family.

Erotic and passionate love slowly turns to love that lasts a lifetime, as we fall in love over and over again. Intimacy becomes mature, and we find that our enduring, committed love and the solid unity in our spirits draw us closer and closer, year after year. We turn to children, to the beauty of these young blessings from the Lord. We talk to them of God’s love, and we show it every day in our marriage, as our undying love through Christ gives them strength and character.

We play well, and it is beautiful. We learn again to blow bubbles, to have tea parties, to act silly and tickle. We put braids in our little girls’ hair, and splash in puddles with our sons. We teach our children to fly a kite. We knead bread together, and laugh as we eat chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. We run through sprinklers and take walks in the park. We stand amazed at the beauty of children, from birth, through their infancy, into their growing into young adults. We learn to become children again through them.

All this beauty turns us continually to the beauty of the Lord and of the great salvation He has granted us. We revel in how He has revealed Himself, and we connect the dots of how He created us: in His image. We realize that how He created men and women in the Garden was a direct reflection of His own personality. We understand that we are not arbitrary: we are patterned after the Creator God, and in marvelous ways. Anything good, beautiful, and splendid about our humanness comes because we are children of our Father. Our bodies, spirits, emotions, dreams, desires, and even our heartaches in some way reflect who God is or help us understand what He sees and feels.

What we learn leads us to an unrivaled ability to fully give God the glory due to Him. Deep gladness takes over. Joy, delight, celebration, and undiluted pleasure make themselves at home in our hearts as we realize that the very God of the universe saw our utterly lost condition and adopted us into His family. Contagious gratitude swells within our hearts and causes us to want to share that beauty with everyone—even with the most remote tribes in the jungle or the most cynical people at work. We know that God’s love and beauty has won our hearts, and like beggars who have found the bread, we long to share what we know with others.

God’s Word becomes more beautiful to us every day as we realize that all our perceptions of beauty mean nothing without wisdom and understanding from the Lord. We see His love letter to us and read it with eyes more open every day to the truths He wants to share. The general joy of God in nature and life transitions to the clear and specific message to us of what the beauty has been all about. Life is about intimacy and beauty, and will be for all eternity. It's what God, the Gospel, heaven, and humanity are all about. We embrace the beauty. We pursue it, revel in it, and dive into it with all our hearts. It creates emotions that go down into our souls and affect everything else. We begin to see God and beauty everywhere. Intimacy with the Lord becomes the most beautiful thing we can pursue, and we learn to constantly quench our thirst in the river of His delights.

Why do so many of us lose our childlike innocence, our wonder at the miracle of life? And why do so few of us realize how much like little children we still are, reaching back for the beauty we once knew but feel is lost? Where is the precious spontaneity, the abundant peace, the innocent pleasure?

These are the moments that become the hinges upon which our lives take major turns. These are the empty days and sleepless nights that count, despite how much they sometimes feel like a waste. These are the moments when we choose to seize the day, to seize the beauty, and to seize what truly matters.

These things do not ease the pain if we try to embrace them in the darkest hours. We shape our worldviews before the storms come, training the eyes of our hearts to see beyond ourselves to the deep, pervasive beauty of life so much that even in the midst of trials, our focus is already locked on the beauty, so fiercely that nothing can ultimately tear us away.

God is beautiful, creation is beautiful, life is beautiful, we are beautiful, love is beautiful, salvation is beautiful, and our precious Savior is beautiful. Any other perception else is just a temporary distraction. We pursue and embrace the beauty, for life and for eternity. And when God puts a song in our hearts, we sing it out. When He sets our feet dancing, we dance for Him. And even when He causes us to cry, we shout out through the tears that we know that even wounds He inflicts are for our good.

God, grant us the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to perceive the beauty with which You have surrounded us. We do not ask primarily that You change our circumstances; we ask that You change us. Lord, grant us a right perspective so that our lives might be a beautiful testimony to Your mercy and grace toward us.

Your Heart is a Kingdom

Over the years, a lot of people have told me they like to study people. I guess they sit and watch people, perhaps at a mall or the park, because those people seem interesting and humorous. I don’t know for sure, but I guess most of us study people in some way or another, whether we realize it or not. We can’t help but notice other people’s words and actions, and how they affect us, and we can’t help but think about the consequences of those observations.

I’m intrigued by other people, and I’m often left wondering what they are—or are not—thinking. Sometimes I wonder what internal monologue is occurring in their hearts that causes their external dialogue with the world. I see some people updating their Facebook pages with words of frustration and bittermess, often about trivial things that do not matter in the grand scheme. I feel so sad for their "status updates" but can’t help but question what string of thoughts got them to where they are today.

I almost feel like Anne Shirley, wondering if they have any imagination at all for what other ways life could be, for what other ways they could see and interpret life. I wonder what they think about, and I wonder more importantly what their worldview is like. And I am curious what filter they use to screen what messages are allowed to dig down to their worldview, and how often they ponder their own filter.

A major section of my next book is dedicated to the subject of worldview, so it’s something on my mind nearly every day. Worldview is not what you think about, but simply what you think. It is what happens when the thoughts and intentions of our hearts become so solidified over time that they aren’t even thoughts anymore, but are unconsciously acknowledged assumptions. We usually don’t actively "review" our worldview; it is our worldview which reviews our current experiences.  It is the filter that always trumps surface beliefs.

What we put into our heads and hearts will eventually solidify and become part of us, and develop into the major driver of our character and choices. What you think is what you are and who you will become. Where you start from matters; ideas have consequences; worldview is everything.

We are called to bring every thought captive to Christ. Our goal is to "recapture the imagination," and focus our minds and hearts on eternity … to think God’s thoughts after Him.

We are called to bring ourselves into subjection to the truth, and in that sense, you could say that your heart is a kingdom. You are entrusted by God with its governance, and your call is to rule it well. It’s not something we always manage to do, but it’s something we must do better on today than we did yesterday. As always, it’s not about perfection, but direction.

Ruling our hearts well requires us to dig down to our worldview level to do honest, painful, sometimes messy work, and change. But no other aspect of our calling is worth all that much if we aren’t examining our hearts and replacing error with truth, replacing bad attitudes, mindsets, and mental habits with ones that honor God, so that our motivations are right and our hearts truly reflect God’s heart.

It’s about relinquishing our strategy for how to achieve our dreams and goals, or even our ideas about what our goals should be. It’s about admitting that we have a very limited perspective, even to the point that we all have blinders on in some way. It’s admitting that no matter how strong our faith or worldview, we often have "no scope for the imagination" of what great things God is doing in the world and in our lives. We ask Him for ears to hear and eyes to see, but we constantly admit that we fall short and lose perspective, and ask Him to grant us a fresh perspective every day.

To take our thoughts and imaginations captive, we saturate our minds with the truth. We memorize the Word. We sing of it. And most importantly, we make sure keep our hearts open to the Spirit so that the truth sinks down and changes us for real, from the inside out, on the level of our worldview. Through God’s power we become good stewards, not just of our things or our schedules, but stewards of ourselves, for God's glory.  Your heart is a kingdom; rule it well.
 

On who God is and how He made us

We think about and describe God in ways that reflect who He really is and what He has actually gone through. God is a musician and an artist. He is a dancer. He is a dreamer extraordinaire. He is intelligent and brilliant beyond compare. His creativity is unimaginable. He is an erotic God and a true hedonist (obviously: He created human sexuality). He is an extremely romantic God (Song of Solomon). He is a divorced God (He begged Israel to be His bride, but when she would not come back to Him, He eventually found another bride, the Church). He is a jealous God (He refuses to share His beloved with another). He is a brokenhearted God who still loves immensely, who longs for fellowship and intimacy, and who sheds tears over needless and foolish rejection.

We don't anthropomorphize God, but at the same time we do not ignore the truth that humanity at its core is the way it is because we are made in the image of God. We are not a perfect image, nor do we live out that image as He intended. But we are based on Him, in some way, so we must see our basic humanity--apart from sin--as pointing to the nature of God. He is ultimate reality, and we are but a shadow, yet a shadowthat points to the substance, the reality, of our Creator.

We revel in how He has revealed Himself, and we connect the dots of how He created us: in His image. How He created men and women in the Garden was a direct reflection of His own personality. We are not arbitrary: we are patterned after the Creator God, and in marvelous ways. Anything good, beautiful, and splendid about our humanness comes because we are children of our Father. Our bodies, spirits, emotions, dreams, desires, and even our heartaches in some way reflect who God is or help us understand what He sees and feels.

We think about and describe God in the ways that reflect who He really is and what He has actually gone through because we want to truly know the God who is. Not the God of religion or liturgy or our cultural background, but the true God who is at this very moment filled with longing and desire and hopes and tears. We are a mere reflection, but a reflection of glory is still in some way glorious, and so we delight in who we are, and we delight in what we are privileged to experience, because in understanding why God designed us the way He did, we understand Him a little better, too.

Being godly--like God--is not just about pursuing righteousness. God is righteous, but He is also passionate, creative, smart, fun, playful, humorous, erotic, sad, angry, jealous, hopeful, etc. To be more godly--like God--we must embrace being like Him in all these ways. Praise God for how He made us! 

A Continual Feast

Desperately distant, you swallowed the grief,
The sanguine sadness, the soul-killing pain,
That tempted your palette with swine’s cuisine,
And starved your fading faith until weak and profane.

Unworthy of privilege, you will still obtain favor;
The fountain of joy will be yours in the end;
I formed your hard heart into an object of mercy,
Securing your fate as my guest and my friend.

With a single word I’ll open the floodgates
Of unbridled laughter, of uncontrollable tears;
Flung into the arms of unadulterated pleasure,
You will cry without restraint for your vanquished fears.

If you draw near and drink from my chalice of joy,
And drown your sorrows ‘till your cup overflows,
You’ll see streams of cold water for your sorely-parched soul;
And you will quench your thirst in the river of delights.

Sit here, at my table while I conjure new wine,
And savor the feast of the fat of the land;
Crave the cordial of dreams, the cascade of delight,
And share in the banquet at my right hand.

Then watch as I fill your barns with plenty,
Overflowing your land with milk and honey;
An unabated abundance for your cruise of oil,
With copious firstfruits from fertile soil.

I’ll intoxicate your heart with a double portion
Of emotional caviar, of milk from the breast;
Eat the bread of kindness; sip the fruit of the vine;
A profusion of pleasure, a wellspring of rest.

Indulge yourself freely in the manna of grace;
Taste it and see that my love is good;
So earnestly sought but for so long withheld,
Your abundant harvest and the latter rain.

Continually revel in my sumptuous feast;
Sigh for pleasure; sink to deep, dreamless sleep.
Guiltlessly wallow in this reckless self-abandon
And the consummate torrent of desire fulfilled.

Draw near and drink from my chalice of joy;
Drown your sorrows ‘till your cup overflows;
There are streams of cold water for your sorely-parched soul;
So come, quench your thirst in the river of delights.

Unrequited Love

There is so much inside my heart yearning to be free
That Providence is almost bound to bring to pass
A time of restitution when all wrongs will be made right,
When all tears will be for joy alone,
And waiting love will be fully requited.

The dreams that put a sparkle in my eyes as a child,
Or as a hopeful young man, in looking to the future,
Are reflections of the place where everything began,
The seductive, blossoming gardens of Paradise,
Where God and man walked side-by-side,
Where we would have stood naked and without shame,
Where flourishing love and abounding grace
Healed all wounds before they were even inflicted,
And all that could be and should be was.

A day will arrive when you and I will face each other,
Perhaps disillusioned, but with all masks removed,
Finding that the love of God is renewing all things;
That while hope deferred had made our hearts sick,
Our desire fulfilled has become a tree of life.

Knowing only our shame, yet trusting and hoping,
We will relinquish our fears and all shadows of doubt,
Throwing caution to the wind of reckless delight,
To find ourselves exultant, in joyful flight,
With our innermost dreams as our constant abode,
Released from past pain, wrapped in bliss forever.

What others have tried to do for selfish reasons,
That was found to be only to their tragic demise,
We will do, and for the first time in our lives,
Truly live.

This is the awaited nourishing of the soul
And the rapturous requiting of love.

Your Heart of Beauty Rests

Your heart of beauty rests in stillness and in pain;
And tearfully you’ve told yourself you’ll never love again.

Your dreams were shaken hard, your faith was shaken more,
Emptiness has filled your life as your hopes and fears make war.

There seems nowhere to turn, no friends who will be true,
And the empty promises they made is all you have in view.

The day has turned to night; the warm has turned to cold,
The gentle rain of yesterday became an unforgiving storm.

Yet somehow in the gloom, you look past the despair,
And you won’t let go of what you know lies just behind the veil.

No dreams were dreamt in vain;
lost love you will regain;

And all those hopes for joy and peace
weren’t hoped only in pain.

Another day will come; the clouds will blow away;
What you hoped would be, will finally be, and will be here to stay.

A Beautiful Soul

I am a dreamer. God made me a dreamer, and when I dream, I feel His pleasure. I long for transcendence so strongly that it frequently overwhelms me. I long to revel in the deep things of God—of present beauty, of ultimate reality, and of future glory.

But there are events in our lives that cause us to stumble, to break, and to focus on the storm rather than on the Master. We sometimes feel betrayed and abandoned by others, and even by God. And in the crucible of those moments, when our usually guarded worldviews are forced wide open, we allow fears, doubts, anger, and cynicism to creep in, even in small doses, and those feelings become hard to kill.

In those times of the dark night of the soul, we too often make subtle vows to ourselves that we won't ever be hurt those ways again. We build walls to make sure we stay protected, and create venues to avoid the pain.

But there is a better way.

These are the moments that become the hinges upon which our lives take major turns. These are the empty days and sleepless nights that count, despite how much they feel like a waste. These are the moments when we choose to seize the day, to seize the beauty, and to seize what truly matters.

A beautiful soul. I wonder what it takes to be a beautiful soul.

We all have things that weigh us down, but in the midst of our burdens, a transcendent mindset beckons us, one which the world cannot comprehend. Not all of us will choose it, and not all of us can even understand it yet, including me. But we can take small steps. We can admit we are not where we need to be, and purpose where our lives are headed. We can choose to truly be people of faith.

We tend to live by the notion that as life seems more trustworthy, we will be able to take more risks, and conversely, that if life gets less trustworthy, we will protect ourselves and take fewer risks. But what would be necessary for our hearts to take those risks even when life feels unsafe?

There is a kind of heart that learns to truly trust God for real, no matter what. There are eyes that see past today to eternity. There is a brokenness that embraces surrender like never before.

One of the most crucial choices we will make in life is vulnerability. Being open to the possibility of woundedness, disappointment, and even treachery, yet remaining willing to pursue life's beauty.

When we walk through dark valleys, we have the opportunity to take some terrifying emotional and spiritual risks which expose us to both the greatest joys and the deepest pains possible in this life. But without making the choice to be vulnerable, to seize the beauty of God and of life no matter what comes our way, we are only half alive.

C.S Lewis wrote that "Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become, even in the natural loves, more careful of our own happiness . . . we shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."

In that mindset, we choose to keep holding on, to believe that dawn is coming. We embrace brokenness, and embrace it God's way. We know that He is using the trials of life to challenge our hearts, to prove us, and to help us surrender our wills—not to avoid pain. God, do whatever it takes to make us holy, no matter what the cost, and teach us to rejoice in whatever that cost may be.

Life is about intimacy and beauty, and will be for all eternity. It's what God, the Gospel, heaven, and humanity are all about. We embrace the beauty. We pursue it, revel in it, and dive into it with all our hearts.

God, You have woven beauty and majesty everywhere. Even in the darkest hours, we have abundant reason to stand in awe of You, in amazement at what You have created, and in gratitude for what You have done and are still doing. You delight to give Your children good gifts. You cannot but bless Your Son's beloved Bride. We drink deeply from the fountain of delights.

A beautiful soul. I wonder what it takes to be a beautiful soul.

We choose to be carefree, unworried, and untroubled. We choose to cast our cares on the Lord, because He cares for us. We choose to be resolute, confident, cheerful, joyous, and lighthearted. We choose optimism. We play the Glad Game and really mean it.

We purposefully choose to not be disillusioned. We reject cynicism. We sanctify our imaginations. We resist the tendency to take shortcuts and the easy way out. We choose the way of wisdom.

We choose to believe that the presence of pain does not equate in any way to the absence of God and does not imply His displeasure. God allows all His children to go through dark valleys to teach them trust and obedience.

We choose to believe that the wilderness may, indeed, be the best place for God to find us. Empty of all pride, success, and confidence in our own strength, we turn to God, admitting that we cannot enter the Promised Land without Him, and that in truth, He—not our supposed dreams and plans—is the Promised Land.

We choose to believe that everything God had made, and everything God does, is good, and that His design is always right. He is the sovereign, brilliant Master Designer. He never makes mistakes of any kind, and He constantly takes our lives—including our wounds and even our mistakes—and turns them into glory.

Oh, God, may the depths of me collide with the depths of You! May I be transformed through and through, from the inside out.

We choose to believe that God cannot help but bless us. He blesses us constantly, whether we realize it not. He constantly works things together for our good, and will only ever bless those who are His. What could He do that would not ultimately be a blessing, even if it currently feels like a loss or a disappointment? Even His discipline is a blessing, because in teaching us to give up something, He is focusing us on His will, our character, His glory, and our good.

We choose to believe that God loves to celebrate. God delights to invite His family to a feast He has prepared. He is the King who serves, the Friend who prepares a table before us, the Father who will throw the most lavish wedding in history, the Master who even washes our feet as we sit down to have Him share His bread with us. In that spirit, we offer our lives as a constant celebration, a continual feast, a neverending expression of joy. We choose to be carefree because our hearts' deepest desires were already met at the Cross of Christ. The Lord is our Shepherd, and so we lack nothing.

We choose to embrace the paradoxes. We know that there is beauty beyond comprehension in the mysteries, in not knowing all the answers yet running to the One who does, and in being children with endless questions yet belonging to the faithful, trustworthy Father. We question for a short time, but we do not let our questions hold us back from wonder, amazement, and worship. We fall on our knees and stare and laugh. We stand confidently, and walk without fear, and dance for Him, whether He answers all our questions or not.

We choose to not let anything draw us away from the simplicity of our love for Jesus and our devotion to Him.

We believe that God is on our side and He does not write any truly sad endings. The Lord will be faithful to complete what He started in us. God is the Master Artist, and we are unfinished portraits. God will make us glorious in the end. Jesus, paint my life!

Lord, we have set our sails as best as we know, in the direction of Your will, so far as we understand it. Please fill our sails with Your wind and guide and redirect us where You will.

We hold nothing back. No reservations. No separate stash for ourselves. It all belongs to You. Our only goal is to be pleasing to You, our Master.

We bow our knees to You with tears of joy and gratitude that we no longer bow to sin and death. We do not argue with doors You open or shut. We are soldiers committed to Your task. We are children dedicated to the honor of Your name.

We are Your followers, forever grateful for Your opening our eyes to see, and forever ready to do Your bidding, so that others may see what great things You have done for us.

You alone are the One worthy to direct our lives. You are the only One we can truly trust to write the very best story of our lives. You alone call the shots in our lives, and for that we are eternally and joyfully indebted.

Lord, make our lives a song. Let the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable to You, and may they pour out as praise to You. Write the lyrics of our lives, and let them be worship to You. Whether the songs sound upbeat, sad, calm, or fearful, let us take those songs and offer them up, imperfect though our offerings may be. Rewrite the songs of our lives the way You choose, and we will learn the tune and sing it back to You with a grateful heart.

Lord, I know what it will take to be a beautiful soul. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief. Come what may; to You be the glory.